Have you ever said “Why am I ugly?” to yourself? You may think that yourself as a bad person and not capable of anything compared to other people. You believe the negative judgments that come from criticizing yourself. Have you ever been in that situation? If you’ve ever been in that situation, or you are experiencing that situation, here’s ways to overcome your negative thoughts.
What is Negative Self-Talk?
Negative self-talk is negative speech or thoughts directed at and from oneself. It can be experienced by anyone and comes in many forms. Also, it can present as a form of helplessness, self-blame for the situation at hand to poor self-esteem.
Negative self-talk is basically an inner dialog with yourself that ultimately limits you from believing in your own abilities and potential. Negative self-talk will make you lose the ability to make positive changes and decrease your belief in yourself. So, we are able to say that negative self-talk is not only stressful, but it can also hold you back from reaching your success. Need to note that self-harm is not limited to physical harm, but can also be self-talk.
The Dangers of Negative Self-Talk
According to Tod (2011), negative self-talk is very associated with an increased risk of mental error problems. Negative self-talk will lead to decreased motivation and a greater sense of helplessness compared to someone who does not engage in negative self-talk.
If you engage in negative self-talk regularly, you will find it difficult to see the chances that are available. Thus, there is a tendency to experience the risk of stress. Aside from that, self-love can also diminish.
Besides some of the impacts mentioned above, there are some consequences as a result of negative self-talk (Walter, 2019), including:
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- Your mind becomes narrower and more limited.
- Excessive self-criticism leads to perfectionism.
- You are going to experience problems in social relationships.
How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk?
Apparently, there are lots of ways to reduce negative self-talk in everyday life. Of course, everyone has their own way to overcome negative self-talk. Here, we are going to share some tips to overcome negative self-talk.
- Recognize your negative thoughts
The first way to overcome negative self-talk is to learn to notice when you have negative thoughts and feelings. You are able to learn about situations that might trigger them so that you will be able to anticipate or prevent them. Also, you are able to learn about your negative thought patterns by keeping a daily journal.
- Do a Cross-check
The second way to overcome negative self-talk is to do a cross-check. If negative feelings and thoughts are present, you are able to cross-check the truth of your negative thoughts. For example, you are able to ask and confirm with those who work with you, or you are able to ask for an evaluation of yourself from the perspective of other people you trust.
- Make friends with yourself
The third way to overcome negative self-talk is to make friends with yourself. When negative self-talk is present, you become your own critic. This form of self-evaluation is necessary, but if done excessively, it will certainly not be good for you. You are able to treat yourself like a friend, how there is a heart that you keep and love, because sometimes we are much easier to tolerate with other people than with ourselves. If we do not love ourselves, who will love ourselves?
- Change your perception
The third way to overcome negative self-talk is to change your perception. When you have been able to learn and know the patterns of negative thoughts and feelings that are present in you, then you are able to try changing the negative perception into something more positive and neutral. You are able to try changing your perception slowly by trying to dialog with yourself, ‘Am I really ugly and incapable?’
- Start from Appreciating Small Steps
Usually, someone who has negative self-talk tends to see things in black and white. In fact, there are many things to be grateful for and appreciate, including small steps. By appreciating the small steps, you will be able to see yourself in a more positive light. Even if you have not succeeded or taken big steps yet, at least you are in the process and it all starts with small steps.
Contact a Psychologist
Negative feelings and thoughts about yourself will be able to happen to anyone. Of course, this condition puts you in a situation which is sometimes uncomfortable so that it will disturb your activities. Besides trying to apply the various tips explained above, you can also consult with a psychologist to assist you in overcoming negative self-talk.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
