According to the studies, incarcerated people who maintain contact with supportive family members are more likely to succeed after their release. So, if someone that is close to you is sitting behind the bar, whether it is your family member or your friend, it is better for you to keep in touch with them frequently. Keeping in touch with them can be very beneficial to them in the long-term. However, talking to someone in jail can be hard, even if they are loved ones that you are very close to because if you talk carelessly you might end up hurting their feelings. That’s why it is important for you to choose the right topics when talking to them.
What to Talk about When Visiting Someone in Jail
If you are considered new and have no idea, check out tips below:
1. Tell Them that They are Loved
When you get the chance to see your loved one who is behind the bar, do not miss the chance to tell them that they are loved. It would mean so much to them. Someone like you is the best support system for them when some people in their life might turn their backs and cut ties. Make sure to say only good things. Tell them that you are always by their side. Try to assure them that everything is going to be fine and this will also pass. Once again, do not forget to say encouraging and supportive words as these are what they need most. Actually, letting them know that they are loved is not always about meaningful words, because it can simply be about showing up. They will feel grateful if you spare your time and energy to travel to visit them.
2. Share Your Happiness
One of the most recommended topics that you can talk about with someone in jail is about your life and the best one is the positive one. It would be such a good start for you to start the conversation by sharing the positive events in your life. By sharing your joys, your loved one will feel connected with you and with the thing that is going on in your life. Some of the things that you can share include promotions at work, good grades in school, engagements, weddings, family, and so on. These things can help your loved one to catch up with your life. Keep in mind that there is no joy that is too little, because even a small one can be important to them and can make them feel that they are still included in the outside world.
3. Listen to What They Want to Talk to You
While sharing your happiness can be a very good topic, you can also listen to your incarcerated one. They may have so many things to share and you can lend your ear. Try to be a good listener by letting them share all the things in their mind. If needed, you can also give reactions and say some encouraging words in between.
4. Talk About the Future Carefully
The future can be one of the most sensitive topics when talking with someone in jail. That’s why you should be very extra careful if you want to talk about it. This topic is known as a very touchy subject because release dates can be very uncertain and your loved one might have a hard time just thinking about it. If possible, try to avoid this topic. If you still have to talk about it, do it carefully. Please stop if they seem to be bothered by it unless you want to see them suffering. Instead of talking about the future, it is better for you to talk about fun moments that you two had in the past.
5. Do Not be Afraid to Show Emotions
When you talk with your loved one, it is fine for you if you want to show your emotions. Do not hold back and just let your emotions. Let them know your feelings so that they can also share what they feel. Living behind a bar can be very hard for them as it can be full of sadness and pain. Sharing each other’s minds can release all the pain and sadness and make you two stronger. If it is too emotional, you can also cry. Make sure to not hold your tears and just let them fall down.
6. Keep in Touch with Them
Your visit can mean so much to your loved one who is currently sitting in jail. So, if you have free time, try to visit them again after the first visit. Once again, your present can make them feel that they are loved and valued. If it is unlikely for you to make a visit, you can also keep in touch with them through some other things such as mail, email, phone call, or video visitation.
It is actually not that hard to talk with someone in jail if you know how to pick the topic for conversation. If you are clueless, you should try to consider these tips above. In addition to the topics that you can bring up, it is also important for you to know the topics to avoid. The best topics to avoid include misery, struggles, or some other things that are happening in the outside world. Make sure to avoid these things because they may already feel hopeless about their life so it is better for you not to make everything worse.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
