Love can be a cure for a broken and lonely heart, but love can also be an intoxicating drug and even lead to stupid things. So, you have to be able to control your feeling of love so that everything can go well.
It is important for you to note that there are some types of love. Love is not only between a woman and a man, but love is also between you and your parents, you and your friends and so on.
Here, I will show you the explanation about Stenberg’s triangular theory of love where the source of this article is from Kampus Psikologi in an article written by K. Lintang Mahadewa. So, you are able to check the explanation below.
Stenberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
According to Robert Stenberg, there are 3 components of love that can arise, namely: intimacy, passion, and commitment. You are able to read a brief explanation of each of these components (Stenberg, 1986):
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- Intimacy: This is a feeling of closeness, connection, and a deep bond.
- Passion: It involves feelings and desires that lead to physical attraction, romance, and building/ strengthening love bonds through making love.
- Commitment/ Decision: Feelings that lead to a desire to be together and move toward the same goals.
Let’s say that you do not feel these three components in your relationship. If so, according to the Stenberg’s theory, the absence of these three components is categorized as Non-Love. These three components will combine into 7 types of love, according to each component that is present in the relationship and the explanation of those 7 types of love can be read below.
7 Types of Love According to Stenberg
The three components of love that have been explained above will interact with each other and create 7 types of love that can change over time. Note that every type of love can be the beginning of a relationship and the result of changes because of events or the influence of the couple’s involvement.
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- Friendship (I)
There is a relationship where it starts from a friendship and then ends up dating. Friendship is a type of love that only has an intimacy component, so it lacks commitment (in a romantic context) and passion. Often, friendship is the root or the beginning of other kinds of love (Stenberg, 1987). - Infatuation (P)
This is a type of love which only has a passion component without commitment and intimacy (a deep relationship). However, it is not limited to lust. Sometimes, this type of love arises because there has not been time to develop the other components. Probably because they met online or did not know each other (Stenberg, 1986). - Empty Love ( C )
This type of love only has a commitment component and it has no passion or intimacy. This love can occur when a strong love has been eroded by time and eliminates the components of passion and intimacy. However, the opposite thing is also applied, for example, an arranged couple may initially be empty, but over time it turns into another kind of love (Stenberg, 1987). - Romantic Love (I & P)
Romantic love is often called stupid love or love in junior high school or senior high school where it is the relationship of a girl and a boy who like each other but has no clear future. The type of this love has a deep component of intimacy and passion. Couples with this love enjoy deep and intimate conversations between them (Stenberg, 1999). - Companionate Love (I & C)
This is a relationship without status where this love is intimate, but there is no passionate side in it. This type of love involves liking and wanting to be together until they are old, but there is little or even no lust.
This type of love arises in a marriage that has lost its passionate component, but the couple has a very close relationship. This love can also be seen as love between friends and family members who are very close (Stenberg, 1986). - Fatuous Love (C & P)
In this type of love, there is only commitment and passion and this love is like impulsive love because there is no intimacy. Unfortunately, this relationship often ends quickly. Relationships in this type of love which are successful are often judged to be lucky (Stenberg, 1986). - Consummate Love (I-P-C)
This is a type of love which is the most complete and is considered the most ideal by Stenberg. In this love, intimacy, passion, and commitment are involved. Couples who experience this love will experience a great romance and love making even though they have been together for many years. They are deeply connected and they cannot imagine life without their partner and they also cannot imagine happiness without their partner. These couples accept differences and face challenges together (Stenberg, 1999).
- Friendship (I)
If you have ever had a relationship, especially romance, you will agree that it is important to find a balance between the need to make love, the need to love and be loved, and the commitment of both parties. In love, things like dedication, good communication, and involvement from both parties are needed so that the love will blossom beautifully and last long.
Criticism of Stenberg’s Theory
In this theory, there are a lot of weaknesses. Mehrnoosh Hedayati (2020) underlines the way Stenberg describes and even categorizes various types of relationships as “love”, even though there is no intimacy component that is the essence of love itself.
In addition, she also says that “love” which is often discussed and written by writers, academics, and poets is love that is active involvement (consciousness), is not developed over time, and eventually disappears instantly.
Love is a difficult topic and it will always develop over time. In the past, love was often described in a more “passionate” way with infidelity that made a relationship hotter (Hedayati, 2020).
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
