Do you feel confused about your future when you enter the age of 20? If so, you may experience a quarter life crisis. In fact, a quarter-life crisis can be a challenging event for some since it is such the transition from childhood to adulthood.
There are a number of causes that a person experiences a quarter-life crisis and each will have different causes and background as well. No worries! There are several ways to deal with the quarter-life crisis that you may experience. Let’s dive into our post to know more about the quarter-life crisis!
What Is the Quarter-Life Crisis?
It is known that the quarter-life crisis was first introduced by Robbins and Wilner contained in the book entitled “Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties”. The theory of the quarter-life crisis was based on Arnett’s emerging adulthood theory.
Reportedly, the quarter-life crisis is evidently experienced by many individuals in their twenties. That said, a quarter-life crisis is a period of emotional upheaval and feelings of insecurity following a major transition from adolescence to adulthood, commonly starting between the ages of 21 to 28.
According to Fischer in his book entitled “Ramen Noodles, Rent and Resumes: An After-College Guide to Life”, the quarter-life crisis is a period of emotional crisis which occurs in the early 20s because of feelings of worry about the uncertainty of life in the future around careers, relationships and social life.
If an individual in going through the stages of development cannot respond appropriately to a variety of problems faced, it is predicted to experience various psychological problems, experience an emotional crisis and feel swayed in uncertainty.
Many experts think that the quarter-life crisis is a period where individuals will strive to achieve financial and emotional freedom from their parents, form a favorable identity, build a career, look for intimacy, choose a partner, become part of a social group or society, and adjust to marriage.
Quarter-life crisis can be a growing process which begins from college to the world of work, but will commonly be accompanied by feelings of anxiety, hopelessness and depression. The individuals commonly become more likely to question the future and their past experiences in influencing the future during the transition from college to the world of work.
Never take the quarter-life crisis lightly since the period can cause mental illness and depression. People with quarter-life crisis may feel difficulty, depression and instability that will usually last for roughly one year, so it can be an important moment in an episode of life, according to Robinson in his book entitled “Emerging Adulthood, Early Adulthood and Quarter-life Crisis: Updating Erikson for the 21st Century.”
It is a common situation where an individual has a desire to process and develop in this period but does not consider solutions to the current situation, so they increasingly have an insurmountable barrier between themselves and life in the future.
Generally, the person will feel active and optimistic to enter an important role in the initial phase, but it can be the beginning of feelings of disappointment and frustration. After that, the next phase experiences repeated failure to achieve a purpose, role and relationship that is very likely to lead to anxiety and depression due to feelings of loss.
Signs of Quarter-Life Crisis
In the book entitled “Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties”, Robbins and Wilner mention that there are seven aspects that can be a sign when an individual is experiencing a quarter-life crisis. Here are they:
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- Difficult in decision making
- Hopeless
- Negative self-assessment
- Stuck in a difficult situation
- Worried
- Stressed
- Feeling worry about interpersonal relationships (friends, family, partner)
Causes of Quarter-Life Crisis
According to some experts (e.g., Arnett), the most dominant cause of the quarter-life crisis is due to demands from the family about future plans to be taken and problems in the academic fields that can cause stress.
Internal Factors
Robbins also states that the quarter-life crisis can be influenced by internal factors that start from one’s own thoughts about various aspects of life. According to kampuspsikologi.com, there are some internal factors that can affect the quarter-life crisis period, here are they:
1) Hope and Dream
The hope and dream here are related to family, career, partner, and friendship. Ideally, every individual really wants to have a successful career, have a loyal partner, make their family happy, have supportive friends, etc.
Of course, every individual has a dream and hope, but sometimes there are times when we doubt and imagine what will happen in our future. It cannot be denied that doubts and fear are what give rise to an emotional crisis, leading them to experience a quarter-life crisis later.
2) Religion and Spirituality
The internal factor regarding religion and spirituality includes how we think about something, the older we get, the more critical we think. In this case, unstable emotional maturity also plays a role in carrying out their respective religious obligations.
You may ever think whether or not this is a religion that suits me or just due to the teachings of your parents. In this period, the individuals feel that they do not quite understand the teachings of their respective religions so that feelings of confusion arise.
External Factors
In addition to internal factors, Nash and Murray also argues that the person experience quarter-life crisis due to external factors, here are they:
1) Relationship with Family, Friends and Partner
Basically, humans do not live alone and need socialization with others. During our life, we cannot be separated from interacting with other people, particularly those closest to us including family, friends and partner.
In psychology, the individual will feel the need for a partner. However, getting and maintaining a great relationship is not easy and you may feel whether or not this is the right relationship.
Individuals sometimes want to be free from their families and can live independently. They also sometimes feel that they do not find friends who are always present in times of sorrow or joy and can be trusted completely. Without us realizing it, it is these closest people who will later determine whether a person is successful or not in going through this quarter life crisis phase.
2) Academic Challenge
Everyone really wants to have a good education as well. Of course, education is very important to support success. However, there will be a point where the individuals will feel whether or not the major they took is right, whether they will continue for postgraduate studies or not, and whether they have studied everything correctly. Well, these things cause fear to make a decision.
3) Work Life
There is no doubt that humans need money to survive. When we were young, we lived off the hard work of our parents. When we get older, we should be independent and not dependent on our parents.
When an adult, you sometimes feel that you are not ready to be financially independent, but whether you like or not, can or can’t, you have to start thinking about work for your future. Generally, every individual considers choosing between a job he likes or a job that makes a lot of money.
Every individual may feel that they have potential, but they still hesitate to actualize it. In this period, the individuals commonly also have a desire to get a job that will not make them feel pressured. However, they also still question career changes which may occur in the future and what it is like to maintain a balance of life when work is piling up. It cannot be denied that uncertainty about this job will certainly make us feel anxious.
How to Deal with the Quarter-Life Crisis?
At the age of 20, every individual may feel anxious, unready, confused, frustrated, etc., to face their life. If you feel those feelings, it leads you to experience a quarter-life crisis. No worries! If you feel it, there are some ways to deal with the quarter-life crisis, according to kampuspsikologi.com. Here are they:
1) Stay focus
Focusing on what’s important right now means saving yourself from an unsafe situation. Make sure to avoid multitasking and save energy so you can tackle the problems you’re having. Invest in yourself to make you grow, no need to meddle in other people’s problems.
2) Get help
It is very important to have supportive friends, family and partners to support you. If you feel that your environment is unsupportive, you can seek help through the mental health community or see a psychologist directly.
3) Make a plan
Making a plan in the next five years clearly is a must. Life needs a plan, if life goes without a purpose and the steps are not clear we will be more confused. A clear plan will help you gauge how far you are progressing. Make sure you’ve done a lot of research (research) to solidify your plan.
4) Develop your skills
To develop your skill, you must know yourself, what your strengths and your weaknesses are. Of course, you have advantages that others do not have. What you need to know your potential is yourself.
By recognizing potential, you have a clear focus in life. Make sure your potential can grow every day by starting from small and consistent steps. Start by attending seminars, classes, and communities to develop your skills.
5) Try to write journal
Daily journal writing has good benefits for your mental health. You can start writing everything you felt and happened that day. Of course, it will help you become more aware of your emotional state and remember what you have been through.
6) Mindfulness
One of the mindfulness activities is also for self-reflection. Releasing all the hustle and bustle of the world can train yourself for a moment of silence. Make sure to sit on a soft carpet in a calm atmosphere while enjoying a cup of tea without distraction from a mobile phone. Well, this way could be very helpful for calming down. Be aware of your current activities by living them without haste and thinking about other things, including mindfulness.
7) Practice responsibility
Keep in mind, you cannot control other people, but you can control yourself. No matter how good the plans we make, it certainly doesn’t go smoothly. We cannot immediately blame the situation or blame others. What we need to do is to take control of ourselves, practice responsibility. You can start small, do the best you can, so it will have a big impact if you start now.
8) Balanced-Life
Life must be balanced, too much is not good at all. One of the bad signs in your life is overthinking. Make sure to get rid of excessive negative thoughts. We really need to get balanced in maintaining the mind, soul, and body.
Taking care of your body means you have to keep the diet, take a rest and have enough exercise. While keeping the mind and never overthinking about something, try to practice mindfulness.
Of course, maintaining mental health by being aware of how we feel is a must. The soul/feelings we feel can be a guiding voice regarding certain situations. This is not to say that you should be governed by emotions, but also don’t ignore your inner voice – this often provides the wisest advice.
9) Never compare your life with others
The most important way to deal with the quarter-life crisis is to stop comparing your life with others. Basically, life is not a competition since everyone has their own path and timeline. Make sure to keep doing your best, though you are facing a quarter-life crisis.
Never give up just because you see your friends or peers are more successful. In fact, there are many stories of successful people when they are not at a young age. Success requires consistent effort and an unyielding spirit. We never know, what we see as successful in a short time may not last a few years.
Okay, those are several ways to deal with a quarter-life crisis you can take. Well, life is a long journey, enjoy and be happy. Good Luck!!!
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
