It would be hard to keep the relationship with a partner who has anger issues, especially if you return anger with anger. If your partner has anger issues, there is a lot of wisdom to lead your relationship at a reasonably functional level.
Even though it’s very difficult to control your emotions when your partner is angry, you can really try to face your partner without anger. If you are trying to control your emotions, there are some tips and tricks you can use to deal with a partner with anger issues. Okay, let’s dive into our post to find the tips and tricks!
Dealing With a Partner Who Has Anger Issues, Here’s How!
Controlling anger is really hard. However, if you are willing to soothe your partner who is angry and you can do that, we think that there will be faith and trust in the relationship and it will absolutely get stronger.
That said, living with someone with anger issues could be tricky, but you can try to work with him/her and you want to help them a lot. According to marriage.com, there are 10 tips and tricks you can take to deal with anger partner, here are they:
1) Keep calm
To deal with a partner who is angry, it’s pretty simple. What you should do is to maintain your calm and composure. Indeed, it is not easy to do, particularly when you are dealing with an angry partner and your partner is lashing out at you.
Keep in mind, the calmer you can remain, the faster your partner will get over his or her outburst. Keeping calm is a temporary way to reduce your partner’s anger. When he/she has calmed down, you can handle this matter in a more constructive way.
2) Don’t return anger with anger
This way follows on from the previous one of keeping calm when you are dealing with a negative partner. If your partner is angry, you do not return anger with anger, since it will just burn on for longer.
Your calm, mature attitude and peacefulness can really help your partner realize how badly he or she is behaving. In turn, your partner will understand how to handle a spouse and control their anger.
3) Think about your own behaviour
You also need to think whether there is anything that you are doing that provokes your partner’s anger. The natural tendency of an angry partner is blaming you for their outbursts, so you need to be careful not to absorb all the blame that they offload. If you are making a mistake, you may need to apologize for or to make adjustments in your behaviour.
4) Don’t become co-dependent
If your partner is angry and he/she has mouthed off and offended one of your friends or family members, you may quietly go to the person afterward. Then, you explain that your partner did not really mean what they said.
If you keep on doing it, your partner may not be able to learn to take the full brunt of the consequences that are caused by their anger in marriage. So, you stop doing this to convince people that your partner is not really bad.
5) Set boundaries
It’s very important for you to set firm boundaries when you are living with an angry partner. Establishing boundaries is a good way to deal with a negative partner and acknowledge that all relationships require mutual respect in order to flourish. Keep in mind, boundaries are not a selfish way of life, instead these will build and preserve healthy relationships.
6) Don’t tolerate disrespect and abuse
It should be clear to deal with an angry partner regardless of the abuse and disrespect aspect. Of course, there is no reason for abuse. It means that you don’t allow your partner to underestimate, scold you even to the point of physical attack.
Since if you take disrespect and abuse over and over, of course you are allowing your partner to believe that it’s okay. Well, it’s not and it’s up to you to make that clear.
7) Do cultivate compassion
If you try to deal with a partner with anger issues, you should know that an angry person is someone who has been deeply hurt and prefers to use their anger to protect themselves. In this case, the slightest insecurity or threat can lead them to flare up as a defense mechanism.
If you create a sense of emotional security, you will find that a lot of anger can be spread. Of course, it can be performed through patience and compassion by saying kind things, instead of listening attentively, being critical and being sincere, not mocking or sarcastic.
8) Don’t neglect to get help
If you are living with an angry partner and his/her anger is starting to get to you and you feel overwhelmed and hopeless at times, you may need to find a therapist or counsellor or speak to someone you can believe.
If your partner is angry, make sure to tell your partner how you feel and suggest that you get help together. You shouldn’t also feel that you have to struggle alone.
9) Know when to walk away
If your partner is willing to get help and work on their anger issue, it’s a sign that your partner wants to be a better person and keep the relationship. Otherwise, if your angry partner does not acknowledge any wrongdoing without real effort to change, you may need to make some hard decisions. It may be a good time for you to walk away.
10) Don’t forget who you are
If you have a partner with anger issues, you can also become an angry person. It is known that anger would be quite contagious. Of course, you should stay true to yourself and the person that you know you are.
Keep in mind, your partner’s anger is theirs to deal with, not yours to take on board. If you consistently and patiently express your emotions in a mature and healthy way, you really help your partner learn to do the same.
Okay, those are some tips and tricks you can use to deal with a partner with anger issues.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
