When you are in a tense conversation with someone, it may be hard to control your emotion. Of course, it’s a common situation, since one of the biggest problems that people encounter in those moments is dealing with a rush of emotions.
In this situation, the part of the brain which perceives a threat triggers a fight-or-flight response does not leave much room for rational thought. Before you get into an emotional conversation, it would be better for you to find out the ways to stop your anger during conversation with someone.
Thankfully! This post will show you some tips and tricks to control your angel during a conversation with someone. Okay, let’s dive into our post below!
Controlling Your Anger During a Conversation with Someone, Here’s How!
According to some sources, there are a number of ways that you can control your anger during a conversation with someone. Those tips and tricks are simple, but those are very beneficial for you who are in tense conversation. Here are they;
1) Take a breath
All you have to do is to take a breath. Even though this is a very simple technique, but it is very helpful and may be your best friend in tense situations. Of course, none is simpler and accessible than using your breath.
If you notice yourself getting tense, make sure to always focus on breathing. You also need to pay attention to the sensation of air coming in and out of your lungs. Make sure to feel it pass through your nostrils and down the back of your throat.
If you do this way, it will take your attention off the physical signs of panic and keep you centered. Mindfulness experts recommend counting your breath, either inhaling and exhaling for a count of 6 or just counting each exhale until you gain to 10. Then, you need to start again.
2) Be aware of your body
Keep in mind, it is not just the mind, but also the body which responds to a perceived threat. If your heart is facing, your first job is to calm your body. You can try to stand up and walk around to help activate the thinking part of your brain.
What you should do is to sit down when you are having a tense conversation that can make the emotions go up. Some experts reveal that standing up and walking around will help to activate the thinking part of your brain. You may be hesitant to stand up suddenly, especially if you and your partner are seated at a table.
If you do not still feel comfortable, you may need to do small physical things such as placing your feet firmly on the ground, crossing two fingers or also noticing what the floor looks like at the bottom of your shoe.
3) Learn to anchor yourself
If you are struggling internally, it would be simple to miss out on some of what’s being said. Of course, in a difficult conversation, you may not want to miss a word. A simple anchoring exercise will really help you.
What you can do is to place your feet firmly on the ground and pay attention to how the floor feels on the bottom of your shoes. So far, this technique is simple that can help you stay literally grounded and keep your focus.
Some experts suggest coming up with a phrase which you can repeat to yourself to remind you to stay calm. Try to say to your mind that ‘This will pass’, ‘This is not about me’ or ‘This is about the business’.
4) Label your emotion
Another useful tip that comes from Susa David is to acknowledge and label your emotion. If you feel emotional, try to notice the attention you give your thoughts and feelings crowds your mind.
To distance yourself from the feeling, you may need to label it and make sure to call a thought a thought and an emotional an emotional. However, the labelling may allow you to view your thoughts and feelings for what they are and put space between your emotions and yourself.
5) Don’t allow transference to happen
It is very important not to allow their emotional dysfunction to transfer into you, especially if you are dealing with someone with a volatile personality. What you should do is to not allow transference to happen. If you find them angry, it would be better for you to be a witness to their anger and do not take it on.
6) Listen to understand
It is known that a leader will listen to learn something new. The only one way to encourage that kind of listening is to shift your internal response from ‘I Understand’ to ‘Help me Understand’. Of course, everything else will actually follow from that.
7) Take a break
In the heat of a tense conversation, most people have said things we may later regret. What you should do is to allow the individual who is venting have their say. Make sure not to react with blame or excuses or rejoinders. It would be better for you to understand what you just said and make sure to take time to digest it all. So, you may need to give yourself time to process your emotions to help make your feelings less intense.
However, hard conversations may be the norm, particularly between people at work. However, how you react to the situations and content of the conversation is what makes the difference between a great leader and a good leader.
8) Lead from within
It is known that human interactions are complex. We definitely can gain at least some influence over the problem, but by simply taking responsibility for their own behaviour.
Okay, those are some tips and tricks to easily control your anger during a tense conversation with someone. Once again, don’t be afraid to face it, since conflicts will always exist, and how we can face it and flow it easily.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
