Recently, the topic of affairs has become a trending topic on social media. Some popular public figures are rumoured to have had an affair. Of course, many are upset with the perpetrators of infidelity, especially if the person is their idol.
Even though they don’t know what caused them to have an affair, many people blaspheme against the perpetrators. According to psychologists, the behaviour of cheating itself can be motivated by a number of factors that cannot also be generalized between one another.
If you are looking for the facts about affairs that happen around us, thankfully, we will show you the information of how affairs happen, why people cheat, etc. Okay, just dive into our post to find out the information about it!
What Is Cheating in a Relationship?
According to Hertlein, Wetchler, and Piercy in their journal entitled “Infidelity: An overview”, cheating is all behavior that violates the contract between partners. Not only that, infidelity also involves sexual relations with other people, cybersex behavior, viewing pornography, physical intimacy such as kissing and holding hands, and emotional intimacy with people other than partners.
In fact, cheating is such a common issue that happens today. Cheating is not only happening in public figures, but we’ve probably encountered such behaviour around us or even you have experienced it yourself. Even though everyone agrees that cheating is wrong, in fact that many people do it.
Some psychologists have studied a lot about this phenomenon and what things can be behind someone to cheat. To make it easier for you to understand how someone can cheat, let’s see the information that we found from kampuspsikologi.com.
What Are the Types of Cheating?
According to Hertlein, Wetchler, and Piercy in their journal entitled “Infidelity: An overview”, cheating consists of three types including 1) sexual infidelity, 2) emotional infidelity and 3) a combination of sexual and emotional.
Sexual infidelity is often indicated by having sexual relations with other people. Meanwhile, emotional infidelity is characterized by emotional closeness with a cheating partner that can include sharing behavior, understanding, friendship, self-esteem that is like a couple. Basically. emotional infidelity is carried out without any sexual behavior between cheating partners.
Where there’s smoke there’s fire, of course there will be no effect if there is no cause. All forms of cheating behavior, both emotional and sexual, are motivated by certain factors that encourage someone to have an affair. So, what are the things that drive this behavior?
Why Do People Cheat in a Relationship?
According to Selterman, Garcia and Tsapelas in their journal entitled “What Do People Do, Say, and Feel When They Have Affairs? Associations between Extradyadic Infidelity Motives with Behavioral, Emotional, and Sexual Outcomes”, most people cheat since some aspects of their relationship with their main partner does not live up to expectations. In other words, they feel dissatisfied. Well, this unfulfilled expectation can then drive someone’s behaviour to seek satisfaction both physically and mentally outside the main partner.
Thompson, a psychologist, explains the deficit model of infidelity that the main factor encouraging someone to cheat is low satisfaction in relationships, conflict, and lack of communication. Selterman, Garcia, & Tsapelas also explain that the low commitment to maintain relationships with each other is also one of the factors that encourage someone to establish other relationships outside the relationship with the main partner.
According to several psychologists’ opinions, the general factor that can encourage someone to cheat is dissatisfaction in the relationship, i.e., feeling that your partner tends to be aromatic.
In the journal entitled “What Do People Do, Say, and Feel When They Have Affairs? Associations between Extradyadic Infidelity Motives with Behavioral, Emotional, and Sexual Outcomes” arranged by Selterman, Garcia, & Tsapelas, when compared between men and women, it turns out that men are more likely to commit infidelity because of sexual desire, the desire for variety in sex, and situational factors. Meanwhile, women are more likely to have an affair when they feel neglected by their partner and feel less affectionate.
What Are the Effects of Cheating in a Relationship?
That said, cheating can have an impact on the estrangement of the relationship with your partner. Selterman, Garcia, and Tsapelas states that individuals who are divorced due to infidelity have low levels of attachment to their partners or can be said to experience estrangement in relationships. Aside from estrangement in relationships, cheating in a relationship also has an impact on the emergence of cases of domestic violence that can end up endangering the life of one or even both partners.
In a journal entitled “People’s reasons for divorcing: Gender, social class, the life course, and adjustment” arranged by Amato & Previti, the problems caused by cheating behavior are also the background of the high divorce rate.
Even though divorce is not the only way to solve the problem of infidelity in a relationship, it is very painful for the main partner, so she/he will commit to ending the relationship. Otherwise, getting back together and repairing the relationship may be the right way to go if the cheating partner is committed not to do it again and his partner has also apologized.
How to Prevent Cheating in a Relationship?
According to a study performed by Fye and Mims posted on the journal entitled “Preventing Infidelity”, there are some ways to prevent cheating in a relationship, here are they:
1) Build a secure attachment or emotional bond
When the individual has an emotional bond with his partner, he will feel that his emotional needs have been met, so he has a high sense of togetherness with his partner and does not even want to look for another. Emotional bonds can be built by doing activities together, being open, giving positive affirmations, and showing empathy to your partner.
2) Sex in a marital relationship
The fulfillment of sexual needs in a marriage also helps prevent cheating behavior. The thing that can be done is to make sexual life more interesting and there is an emotional bond behind it.
3) Coping strategies in dealing with problems
Coping strategies are ways to deal with problems both from individuals and between partners. Individual coping can be done for example by staying away from inner wounds, balancing roles, doing self-care and self-control, and having a desire to change for the better. While coping as a couple can be done by providing support to partners for each other, paying attention to relationships, and practicing flexibility and adaptability in relationships.
By applying these three positive behaviors, you can build your relationship in a more positive and harmonious direction. The creation of a harmonious interaction pattern will encourage each other to maintain the commitments that have been made because each other has appreciated the existence of their partner.
Okay, those are some ways to prevent cheating in a relationship. By better understanding why a behavior can occur, when faced with a similar situation, we are expected to be able to take the right attitude and steps to respond to it.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
