Apparently, there are many perspectives on romance that are beginning to be revealed to the world. Scientists recognize that there is a lack of research on topics like aromantic. By the way, what is aromantic? Is it the same as asexual?
Definition of Aromantic
An aromantic person has no romantic interest in anyone. But that does not mean they are asexual (do not feel sexual attraction). Usually, aromantic people are called “aro.”
According to Antonsen, Zdaniuk, Yule, and Brotto (2018), there is still a stereotype that aromantic people cannot enjoy sex, because they are associated with sexual people. Interestingly, an aromantic does not feel romantic attraction but still enjoys sex.
Generally, humans have a romantic attraction which leads them to approach that person. Need to note that romantic attraction is a bit complicated. Reinhard, Gerlach, et al (2018) explain it as a positive reaction to a potential romantic partner, often starting at the first meeting of the two people. Also, they explain that this will lead to positive reactions with four types of components:
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- Cognitive: having positive thoughts and beliefs about the person.
- Affective: Having feelings and emotions towards the person.
- Motivational: Having a desire to approach the person.
- Behavioral: Consciously choosing to sit or walk near each other.
For note: A person who identifies as an aromantic can still be sexually attracted to another person. But they do not fall in love with another person.
Characteristics of Aromantic Individuals
An aromantic person can feel platonic love and love between family members. However, she/he does not feel love like other common love stories. Generally, one can sense the different types of love given to pets, family, and with a partner. Unfortunately, those who identify as Aromantic cannot do that.
Here are the characteristics of aromantic:
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- Never been or not sure if they have ever been in love with anyone.
- Views romance with negative connotations (boring, disappointing, annoying).
- Struggles to understand what friends are saying about love.
- Does not understand someone’s actions influenced by love.
- Not feeling enthusiasm for love or commitment to a partner.
- Feeling uncomfortable in a relationship.
- More interested in friendship than romantic relationships.
- Seeing a “Friends with Benefits” relationship as more ideal than a committed romantic relationship.
- Does not understand romantic stories.
The Relationship of an Aromantic
Aromantic people are able to have happy and long-lasting relationships with their partners. For your information, squish is the dating term for someone who is aromantic. Basically, squish is the desire to have a more intimate platonic relationship. Also, there is the relationship “Queerplatonic.” A platonic friendship, which is more intimate. Usually, each LGBTQIA+ member has an additional definition for queerplatonic relationships. In the interview conducted by (Rimm, 2016) Kai and Mari used the term “queerplatonic” to clarify their intimate platonic relationship among other platonic relationships.
Does an Aromantic Person Have Sex?
Some of Aromantic people do have sex. In fact, members of the aromantic community are not entirely of the same mind, some have sex and some have no interest in doing so. Also, there are aromantic people who prefer intimate touches such as hugging, holding hands, and affectionate touching. For your information, affectionate touching is touching with intimate implications such as stroking, kissing the forehead, and so on. In addition, there are aromantic individuals who do not enjoy physical touch at all. They build intimate relationships through other mediums. Individuals with this preference are not few.
Life for an Aromantic Individual is Not Always Black and White
Based on the research, aromantic individuals also have times when they feel romantic feelings. Aromantic individuals who experience this type of situation are called as “demiromantic” or “gray romantic.” Usually, they do not feel romantic attraction, but in certain situations, they do.
Being Aromatic Doesn’t Mean Suffering from Mental Illness
Need to note that differences in sexual orientation are not sexual dysfunction. Eventually, we are going to understand that not everyone experiences falling in love. Anyone can identify as an aromantic, regardless of their background and culture. Also, being an aromantic has nothing to do with being traumatized by a bad romantic relationship or sexual violence. Being aromantic is not a matter of not finding a partner, or being single. A person identifies as aromantic because they have difficulty feeling and expressing love.
Amatonormativity
According to Brake (2012), amatonormativity is the assumption that romantic relationships are central and exclusive to humans. Also, it can be said to be a goal that applies to the whole world, this relationship needs and is upheld above all other types of relationships.
In the end, all relationships are equally valuable. Whether it’s a lifelong love, a close relationship between friends, and so on. Whether the relationship is healthy or not can be seen from the aspects of communication, understanding, humor, support, and love.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
