5 Parenting Styles You Must Know and Choose

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When you decide to have a baby, changing your status to that of a parent is a phase that is full of challenges and requires adaptation. How not? That’s because the person will enter the phase of being a parent, where they have the responsibility for their children and cannot be replaced with anything.

One of the roles of parents is to determine their parenting styles. When it comes to parenting, there is a lot of diversity among families. Of course, cultural background has a huge impact on how the family unit functions and how children are raised.

Generally, parenting has the same goals, i.e., ensuring the health and safety of children, passing on cultural values, and preparing children to lead productive lives as adults. It’s important to note, parenting basically contributes to the formation of a child’s character, behavior, nature, etc., which will be carried over to the end of their life.

If you are a parent, it’s highly recommended for you to choose the best parenting style to ensure your children’s character, nature, and behavior like what we expected. Okay, let’s dive into our post to find out five parenting styles!

Theory of Parenting Styles

Just like individual personalities, parenting styles actually differ from one parent to another. Thus, the way of parenting is still categorized into several types of parenting styles, each with their own characteristics.

One of the popular theories of parenting styles is introduced by Diana Blumberg Baumrind, where she always provides a clear description and grouping of each style of parenting. Baumrind defined the type of parenting style as the attitude of parents towards parenting and how parents apply it as an effort to socialize their children.

According to Baumrind’s theory, parenting consists of three types, i.e., authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. The three types of parenting are seen in the pattern of parental authority over children, the values of the parents, and the behavior of the parents.

while Maccoby and Martin in Estlein distinguished the types of permissive parenting into two based on parental demandingness and responsiveness, i.e., indulgent and neglectful (negligent).

In this case, parental demandingness is defined as the attitude and behavior of parents who aim to introduce the social environment, such as family and cultural rules, to children through discipline and clear boundaries so that children obey them. In the aspect of parental responsiveness, parental support only aims to encourage children to be able to develop independence and self-regulation without involving love and praise.

Accept, Responsive Reject, Unresponsive
Controlling, Demanding Authoritative Authoritarian
Not controlling, Not demanding Indulgent Neglectful

5 Types of Parenting Styles You Must Know

According to kampuspsikologi.com, there are five types of parenting styles that exist among parents. Of course, every parenting style will have a different manner and also a different effect on children. You don’t want the wrong parenting style, do you? So, let’s find out the five types of parenting styles below!

1) Authoritarian Parenting

The two characteristics of the authoritarian parenting style are high levels of parental control and low levels of parental responsiveness. The authoritarian parenting style is where parents see the family as a hierarchy and see themselves as the person at the top of the hierarchy.

The parents who practice authoritarian parenting usually provide rules as a form of control and restriction in the hope that their children will obey and not violate the existing rules. Practically, if the children do not follow their given rules, the parents tend to give them punishment.

Not only that, but the relationship between the two is also not well-established due to the limitations of verbal communication. The children who get an authoritarian parenting style tend to avoid communication with their parents since their parents tend not to accept differences or contradictions, leading them to use fewer supportive sentences and give more discouraging responses.

According to the study performed by Lavrič & Naterer and published in the publication “The power of authoritative parenting: A cross-national study of effects of exposure to different parenting styles on life satisfaction“, it is shown that the application of authoritarian parenting without being combined with authoritative parenting has a negative impact on children and carries over to adulthood. This is evidenced by the low life satisfaction. Perez-Gramaje et al. also state that low self-esteem and psychological maladjustment are bad.

2) Authoritative Parenting

The two characteristics of the authoritative parenting style are high expectations for achievement and maturity, but they are also warm and responsive. According to Estlein, this parenting style combines parental control and emotional support for children in a balanced way.

The communication that exists between parents and children is also fairly good since it is two-way, supportive, and allows children to have discussions with their parents.

According to Santrock in a book entitled “A Topical Approach to Life-Span Development (7th edition),”  the application of authoritative parenting style really provides an opportunity for children to hone their independence in a responsible manner so that separation anxiety disorder can be avoided. With the opportunity to mature in accordance with their age, children with authoritative parenting styles tend to have independent, cheerful, achievement-oriented characters and good self-control.

Lavric and Naterer also found that the children with an authoritative parenting style gained positive things in the form of good life satisfaction when they grow up. According to these studies, authoritative parenting can also be combined with permissive and authoritarian parenting to reduce the negative effects that can arise from both parenting patterns.

3) Permissive Parenting

The two characteristics of the permissive parenting style are low demandingness and high responsiveness. Parents who practice permissive parenting will encourage their children to be independent by giving them full freedom and authority without any rules, controls, or punishments. This parenting style confronts the behavior of their children.

On the contrary, providing freedom to children without rules, controls, and punishments will have a bad effect on their growth and development. According to the literature review performed by Becona et al., it is known that permissive parenting tends to have an impact, such as increasing the risk of drug abuse disorders, dependence on cigarettes and alcoholic beverages.

However, those disorders are not entirely due to permissive parenting. These can also be reinforced by a cultural background that allows individuals to consume cigarettes and abuse drugs and alcohol.

4) Indulgent Parenting

Indulgent parenting is a type of parenting style that is similar to permissive parenting. It is known that the indulgent parenting style was developed by Maccoby and Martin from permissive parenting that was initiated by Baumrind. According to Estlein, the parents who perform the indulgent parenting style have low demandingness characteristics but high responsiveness aspects.

Generally, parents have the opinion that giving their children freedom is part of this parenting style. The children with an indulgent parenting style will grow well since they are not restrained. However, indulgent parenting in the long term can have unexpected effects, though it appears to have a positive impact on child development.

According to Santrock, some of the effects that appear on children’s behavior are: learning to respect others rarely, poor self-control, dominance, difficulties in relationships with peers, etc.

According to a journal article, “Indulgent Parenting, Helicopter Parenting, and the Well-being of Parents and Emerging Adults” performed by Cui et al., adults who were cared for by the indulgent type in childhood and adolescence tend to develop more symptoms of depression and anxiety and have poor emotional regulation skills.

5) Neglectful Parenting

The two characteristics of the permissive parenting style are low demandingness and low responsiveness. Neglectful parents tend not to set firm boundaries or high standards for their children. In other words, they are indifferent to their children’s needs and uninvolved in their lives.

Eistlein demonstrates that parents with a neglectful parenting style tend to believe that their role as parents is only limited to meeting basic needs. This parenting style results in a lack of parental attention to non-material aspects such as emotional, social, and emotional development, which also requires the role of parents in order to develop appropriately.

According to the study performed by Perez-Gramaje et al., the children with a neglectful parenting style have low self-esteem and the most severe psychological dissonance, just like children who are cared for in an authoritarian way.

Academically, neglectful parenting has the worst impact compared to other types of parenting since the lack of communication and learning resources makes it hard for children to develop good learning behaviors.

Okay, those are five parenting styles that are widely used as references in the realm of psychology. After learning about all different types of parenting styles and their negative and positive effects on children, you should have and choose one parenting style that you can apply properly to your children.

It’s important to note that good and right parenting practices actually return to the situation and the values and cultures that are held and believed by the family. It occurs since not all family conditions are the same as one another, so it requires special attention when applying one or combining several types of parenting above.

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