Most of us would prefer to be thought of as humble rather than egotistical. People who are able to use humor to make fun of themselves can come across as self-aware, attractive, and approachable. Of course, there is difference between humility and self-deprecation. The question is why do people self-deprecate?
Why Do We Self-Deprecate?
Self-deprecation is a way to communicate and often comes through self-deprecating jokes. It can be said that words that contain negative self-evaluations are self-deprecating (Speer, 2019). For example, your friend is smart, but saying she’s stupid is self-deprecation. There are many other examples, such as self-deprecating jokes.
However, what is the purpose of these people? Why are they putting themselves down in front of other people? They should be proud and positive about themselves, right?
According to Speer SA (2019), we engage in self-deprecation in order to appear humble and not arrogant to other people, and it is often done when there is someone with a higher status. Also, the study adds that the act of self-deprecation will make you seem more likeable, because it creates an understanding between you and the other person.
Culturally, bragging about one’s accomplishments has always been associated with being rude and narcissistic. Thus, we try to downplay our own positivity and humble ourselves to appear humble.
Self-Deprecating Jokes
Usually, we find Self-deprecating jokes on social media such as Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. Self-deprecating jokes have been around for a long time. Study of Matwick and Matwick’s (2017) promotes the idea that these jokes are a way to communicate.
Actually, it is not wrong to make jokes. At some moments, it can even help make us feel better. But if it is used to seek attention, it is a different case. And you should not do that.
According to Dr. Sheri Jacobson, not everyone engages in self-deprecation intentionally and that’s where the problem starts. According to Chandler (2017), the habit of self-deprecation can be an early marker of low self-esteem.
The individual’s self-esteem can become more severe if this self-deprecation continues and other people agree with it.
What is the Impact of Self-Deprecation?
Most of the time, people with low self-confidence do not value themselves. They only see their weaknesses, and thus consider themselves unworthy, unequal, or severely deficient (Rosenberg 1979).
Although self-deprecation is associated with humility, but there is still the possibility of self-sabotage, a side effect that can be detrimental. According to Raypole (2019), self-sabotage is a behavior or mindset that inhibits and prevents someone from doing something.
You may had thoughts like “how can I do this, I’m just an ordinary person” or “why am I like this, I’m so stupid”. Such thoughts only prevent you from achieving greatness, as if you have already lost the battle.
Self-deprecation will be able to push you further into the abyss of darkness. You are going to see it as a way to make those around you laugh at the expense of your self-esteem and confidence. Later, you are going to end up ignoring your achievements and focusing only on your shortcomings.
Here are some of the negative effects of self-deprecation:
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- Feeling depressed and anxious
Try to look at self-deprecation as mocking yourself. Sometimes, it is not wrong to do so. But it can be harmful if done continuously. Even self-deprecating humor is associated with depression and anxiety (Rnic, Dozois, & Martin, 2016). - Becoming more pessimistic
If someone told you a joke that all his life achievements were worthless and he was just lucky, would you laugh along with him? Instead, you would feel sorry for him. Through self-deprecation, happiness whether big or small will be easily lost because the person is not focusing on it.
- Feeling depressed and anxious
Positive Effects of Self-Deprecation
Besides having negative effects, self-deprecation also has positive effects. Study of Matwick & Matwick’s (2017) revealed that self-deprecating jokes are like self-criticism and can reduce judgments received.
A journal analyzing self-deprecating humour (Chaerani & Junaidi, 2019) found that through such jokes, followers could self-disclose their anxiety or negativity more comfortably. In this context, self-deprecating humor creates a safe space which is a condition without judgment or ridicule.
Through this type of humor, it is not uncommon for people to find new friends who feel the same way. These jokes are like introducing ourselves to other people in a humble way and at the same time telling them our vulnerabilities. Even the appropriate use of self-deprecating jokes can make others feel comfortable (Martin et al., 2013).
Self-deprecation can be a method of starting conversations, making friends laugh, or humbling oneself so as not to be too arrogant. However, it needs to be monitored so that it is not done too constantly. According to Gordon Allport (1968), the neurotic who learns to laugh at himself may be on the way to self-management, perhaps to cure.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
