What we are feeling will commonly be shown with an expression that is the same as our heart and our feelings. Someone will express their happiness by smiling or even laughing, while someone who feels sad will cry. Of course, it’s very normal for humans to express their feelings.
However, you may have met a person who always looks happy, when in fact he/she is hiding his/her sadness without wanting others to know. People who experienced this situation refer to the term “eccedentesiast.” If you do not know yet what the ‘Eccedentesiast’ is, you can dive into our post to find the information. Here you go!
Getting to Know about Eccedentesiast
According to some internet sources, Eccedentesiast is a term to describe people who hide behind a smile to convince others that they are always happy. This term is also known as “smiling depression.” This is a type of depression that is often not detected.
Both “Eccedentesiast” and “Smiling Depression” are just popular terms and are neither medical terms nor clinical diagnoses. Even though this is not a clinical diagnosis, this phenomenon feels so close to our daily lives. Instead of showing their true feelings of sadness, some people prefer to hide their sadness by pretending to be happy.
At least when they’re faced with certain situations, we think almost all people have experienced them. You may still have fun when hanging out with your friends, but you have no complicated problems that make you sad.
Of course, many people will not recognize your true feelings and will know that you are in a bad state, otherwise. However, if someone is hiding their feelings of sadness, there are some signs you can detect that they are actually feeling negative emotions.
Amy Morin, a psychologist, states in her book entitled “What Is Smiling Depression? Why Some People With Depression Look Happy on the Outside” that are some of the characteristics of Eccedentesiast. Here are they:
-
- Changes in diet
- Changes in sleeping habits
- There seems to be a feeling of being useless
- Loss of interest in activities you normally enjoy
Even with those signs, people with Eccedentesiast may try to remain cheerful in front of others. In fact, they can still do as much work as they can. So you may be wondering why they keep their true feelings hidden from others. Let’s find out the reasons why they hide their true feelings in the next section!
Reasons for Eccedentesiast: Why Someone Hides Their Sadness
It is not uncommon for people to keep their depression or sadness private. Of course, there are many personal and professional reasons why people hide their true feelings, from wanting to protect their privacy to fearing judgment by others.
According to kampuspsikologi.com, there are seven reasons why people hide their true feelings of sadness from other people (as introduced by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist). Here are they:
-
- Fear of burdening others
For some people, the problems that they experience when telling others may make other people difficult. Of course, they do not want to burden anyone else with their struggles. Instead, they choose to deal with things on their own. Therefore, they do not want to tell anyone about the difficulties that they are facing, so that others are not burdened.
-
- Denial
Basically, people who hide their true feelings of sadness from others do not want to admit to themselves that they are sad. Of course, such people reject the feelings they are experiencing and replace them with feelings that can heal those feelings. Some people assume that everything will be fine, so it is easier for them to show a smile than sadness.
-
- Embarrassment
According to GoodTherapy.org, the main thing that causes shame is the stigma still circulating around mental health issues. For example, the assumption that males are considered unnormal if they often cry is made. Of course, this stigma can make men ashamed to show their true feelings of sadness and instead choose to show that they’re strong.
-
- Concern about appearing weak
It is so normal if the judgments of others often make us feel influenced. That’s what sometimes makes an individual not want to express his/her pain so as not to be judged weak by others. Not only was it due to judgement, but they may also have thought that there was a possibility that others would take advantage of her condition when she looked weak.
-
- Feeling better
Pretending to be happy is used as a way to forget the sadness you face. Basically, they’re aware of the emotions they really feel, but they do not want to get too caught up in them. Thus, they hide their true feelings of sadness, as if nothing happened.
-
- Keep professionalism
According to GoodTherapy.org, situations sometimes force us to not show the world that we have a problem. Everyone has a role in their life, and it requires us to always act professionally. This reason can be a form of emotional rejection or an attempt to control oneself in the situation.
-
- Guilty
Morin states in her article that many people think that life is going well and they shouldn’t feel bad about what has happened. Of course, starting from this thought, people will always feel guilty if they are sad. Thus, they will keep it hidden so that there is no more guilt feeling.
Is It Good to Be an Eccedentsiast?
For a number of reasons that we have shown above, there will be a question, “Is it good to pretend to be happy to hide your true feelings of sadness?”
We already know that smiling is such a good thing and actually has a positive impact on people. According to the research performed by Nicholas A. Coles and his team, the study found that facial expressions can affect the emotions they feel, including a smile that can make a person feel happier. In addition, we may need to keep a smile in certain situations, such as the professional reasons already mentioned.
However, if you keep on pretending to be happy to hide your sad feelings, it may have a bad impact on your mental health or even harm yourself. According to the research performed by Aparna Labroo and his team, smiling does not always increase happiness, but smiles can also suppress feelings of happiness and psychological well-being.
There is also a statement regarding the negative impacts of being an Eccedentesiast posted at sehatq.com, that a person accustomed to avoiding problems can feel more depressed, sadder, at risk of developing bad habits, and have threatening relationships with other people.
Morin also stated that, even more dangerous, people who hide their sadness may be at risk of committing suicide. However, it happens since the problems that they experience are not detected or handled appropriately.
Try to Be Honest with Your True Feelings
If you continue to hide your true feelings of sadness by pretending to be happy, you shouldn’t be surprised when there are a series of adverse effects that may happen later. Basically, covering up your sadness means that you can’t be honest about your own feelings.
Before it’s too late, it would be better for you to take steps and practice being honest with your feelings, given that this is not an easy thing to do if you always keep faking a smile to cover your sadness.
According to psychcentral.com, the first step that we can take is to take a deep breath and then try to share with others what we are feeling. Make sure to tell the right person at the right time too. Before you tell anyone else, it is very important for you to first identify and accept the emotions that you are feeling.
The point is, the Eccedentsiast means someone who is used to covering their sadness with a smile. Even though pretending to be happy can really help you to deal with certain circumstances in your life, it is not good for your mental health if you continue to do it. Furthermore, it is good that you have to understand wise ways to manage emotions and seek professional help if needed.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
