Being an Adult Is a Choice, How to be One?

Being an adult is not easy for some, and they do not tend to be ready. Basically, adulthood is not about competition. However, it all comes from within oneself to begin with. Do you think that you feel mature enough? If so, are you ready to face your maturity?

If you decide to deal with your maturity, there are a number of tips and tricks you can use to be an adult. If you want to successfully become an adult, you can try to follow the tips and tricks that we will show you below. Here you go!

Definition of Adult

According to Maslow, mature people are people who can actualize themselves by recognizing their potential and accepting themselves. If we talk about maturity, it is not a constant and really needs a process. During life, humans may have to experience problems, and through the problems, they will become mature; this is the process of self-maturation. Basically, adulthood is not only about being physically, but also emotionally and socially mature.

Santrock, a developmental psychologist, defines a young adult as aged 20–40 years. According to Dariyo, young adults enter a period of transition physically, intellectually, and socially.

Maturity Traits

Gordon Allport, in his book entitled “Pattern and Growth in Personality,” uses six criteria to define maturity (or a healthy personality). Here are they:

• • Self-expansion means being able to develop in the field of work/family life.
  • The ability to connect warmly with others in intimate (love) and non-intimate (affectionate) contacts.
  • Emotional security or self-acceptance, that is, being able to recognize and handle one’s own emotions.
  • Realistic perception, thinking, and judgement, i.e., seeing as it is and not avoiding reality.
  • Insight and humor, namely knowing yourself and being able to laugh at yourself.
  • A philosophy of life, i.e., a clear understanding of the purpose of life.

Hogan and Roberts recently introduced the socioanalytic maturity model in their book “A Socioanalytic Model of Maturity.” According to the model, it is very important to differentiate between how people see themselves and how others see them. Adults do not always confuse the words of others who always demand it to be perfect. Adults can recognize themselves, but it can cause some introspection if it is positive. If there is something wrong with people, of course adults will try to improve themselves and learn from their mistakes. It’s a must to try to understand the perspective of others on us.

Reportedly, some researchers who evaluated data from 132,515 adults, ages 21–60, looked at overall lifespan trends in Big Five Theory personality traits: conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness, and extraversion. Let’s see a brief description of the research, according to apa.com!

• • Conscientiousness, a trait characterized by organization and discipline and linked to success at work and in relationships, was found to increase over the age range studied, with the most changes occurring in a person’s 20s.
  • Agreeableness, a trait associated with being warm, generous, and helpful, contradicts the theory that personality does not change after the age of 30. In contrast, the people in the study showed the most changes in sociability during their 30s and continued to increase into their 60s. Well, it even happens among men, who reject the concept of “angry parents”.
  • The degree of change in the nature of agreement and conscientiousness in accordance with the adult role. Conscientiousness grows as adults and gets better at managing their work and relationships, and agreement changes most in your 30s when you’re raising a family and need to nurture.
  • In general, most of the observed personality changes were consistent across genders, except for neuroticism and extraversion, with young women scoring higher than young men. The differences between men and women have decreased over time. Differences in neuroticism are only seen in youth and young adulthood and narrow with age.
  • Openness shows a small decrease in both men and women over time, a change which shows a lack of interest in forming new relationships and may show a greater interest in spending time with a small group of famous relatives and friends as they age.

Factors

It is known that the level of maturity of people is different. Of course, there are some factors to determine a person’s maturity level. Here are they:

• • Parenting style. Parents who apply good parenting can help someone mature better than parenting that is restrictive, authoritarian, or does not care about their children.
  • Of course, someone’s experience will be different from others’, and the things that each person goes through can be a lesson for each.
  • Humans are basically unique creatures. One’s personality can affect the process of self-maturation.
  • Association is a reflection of you, meaning association can affect your mindset.
  • Biological factors. There may be some people who cannot reach maturity due to problems in their bodies.

Ways to be an Adult

Aging is definite and growing up is an option. Getting older but not getting better would be self-defeating, and regrets would arise in the end. However, you shouldn’t worry, it is better late than never. You can start now without delay. According to kampuspsikologi.com, there are 14 ways to be an adult. Here are they:

1) Get to know yourself

The first way you can take to be an adult is to do introspection regarding your strengths and weaknesses. It will help you to overcome your weaknesses and develop your strengths.

2) Set goals

You may need to set goals if you do not know what you are aiming for. A mature and responsible person sets clear goals. The determination of a goal allows you to target energy and focus on activities that help propel you toward what you want to achieve.

3) Practice self-control

A sign of maturity is learning how to control your actions and emotions. If you let your emotions run wild, make sure to control your actions. Things can get out of hand quickly. It could be challenging to learn to analyze and manage your behavior, but it can have a huge impact on your life. It would be better to practice communication assertively rather than say things based on momentary emotions.

4) Stay persistent

Maturity can be described as running a marathon, not sprinting. To be mature and responsible requires commitment and perseverance. If you accept personal growth, it could be the motivation you need to work hard and pursue your goals. Success is not achieved by accident, but by struggle.

5) Respect the opinions of others.

Basically, different people have different perspectives on the same issue. A sign that you understand is that you start to respect other people’s beliefs and points of view without being judgemental. Even if you do not agree with someone’s opinion, you can listen to them, showing that you are mature and open-minded.

6) Build your confidence.

It takes a strong sense of self-confidence to manage all the parts that move towards a successful life. Never underestimate your ability and make sure to love yourself for who you are. A great way to get confidence is to do things that are outside your comfort zone.

7) Admit failure.

Life is full of ups and downs. Admitting failure as an opportunity to learn and grow will give you the right attitude and will teach you how to become a stronger person.

8) Listen more and more

Listening to people’s opinions is a sign of maturity due to the fact that when you listen, you really develop greater understanding. Of course, interacting with other people is not always about how to respond to them. You can listen first before imposing our understanding on others.

9) Avoid negative things

Negativity creates various emotions that will not help you grow. Mature and responsible people are commonly positive. Positive thinking will help you get through difficult situations and overcome the obstacles that life has thrown at you, including leaving a negative environment that does not support a better direction.

10) Sacrifice

A sign of maturity is being responsible enough to sacrifice for the good of others or for the future without any hatred. Responsible people understand that sometimes gratification needs to be postponed now in order to achieve good results in the future. In Javanese, there is a term “concerned” that means not being excessive and focusing on important things.

11) Giving

Basically, giving is a sign of maturity. When you give your time, knowledge, or effort to others, it shows that you’ve reached a place where you can shift your focus from yourself to others.

12) Avoid hoax

Generally, adults prefer the objective over the subjective. Instead of believing news without clear facts, you can think rationally and realistically. The more you gossip, the more you lose value in your own life. Of course, telling other people’s mistakes is not a good thing, either, including trusting hoaxes. So, make sure to be selective in receiving information.

13) Forgive others

Throughout life, of course, we’ve experienced disappointment with others. In this case, forgiveness is a way you can take to continue living in peace. Without forgiving, we will continue to be stuck in the past, and it is not good.

14) Honest and responsible

A sign of maturity is being honest and responsible. Without honesty, we may harm others. Even if we’re not aware of the role, we will harm others too. That’s why it’s an important ethic in life.