It seems like it is safe to say that everyone has fallen in love with someone or something at least once in their life. Do you agree with this statement? It has been known that love is a positive emotion that can be experienced by everyone. Those who experience love can benefit from it.
Talking about love, a lot of people often mistake it for affection. In fact, love and affection are two different things. What are the differences between love and affection? Check out the explanation according to psychology below. All the information included here is taken from Kampus Psikologi.
About Love
Love refers to a wide variety of emotions and feelings. It is known as a strong and deep affection felt by someone. People who are in love usually have several emotions, such as affection, attention, liking, and a sense of attachment. Love is related to some positive feelings, including care, warmth, and happiness.
According to the ancient Greeks, there are four kinds of love. They are storge, phileo, eros, and agape. They are found in various things that can be felt when someone falls in love and it is not only limited to the one with a romantic relationship background but also can be felt by some other ones, including friends and family.
Storge refers to the love that can be felt towards family and relationships. Phileo is described as a warm and affectionate love. This one is usually felt by someone for their friend. Eros is known as passionate love. It usually exists between lovers. It is marked by desire and longing. As for agape, it refers to the pure and ideal love felt by a person.
Love is known as a complex emotion. The reason why it is known that way is because it consists of a number of feelings and circumstances. According to the intimacy and relationship with a person, the love felt by someone can be different. For instance, love for a child can be different compared to love for a partner. The one for the child is full of other emotions such as care, warmth, kindness, affection and protection. As for the one for a partner, it is full of emotions such as desire, warmth, attraction and affection.
About Affection
The word affection is described as a tender feeling of affection, attention, or liking. Compared to love, it is a more moderate feeling or emotion. Unlike love, it does not consist of passionate or romantic feelings. However, it can make a person feel comfortable and care.
In short, when you love someone, you can also feel affection for that person. However, it does not mean you love that person. Affection is the kind of feeling that can be seen in relationships such as between parents, children, friendships, and relationships between the opposite sex. The ways to communicate this feeling vary, including through gestures, words, or touch.
| Love | Affection |
| Love is an emotion that is present in a relationship that is strong and has a deep bond of affection | Affection is an emotion that is gentle in nature, such as a form of attention and a sense of liking or admiration |
| A feeling that is stronger and deeper than affection | A feeling that is not much stronger than love |
| Has an indication of a romantic relationship | Has no indication of a romantic relationship |
Sternberg’s Theory of Love
Sternberg’s Triangular of Love is the name of the most famous theory about love in psychology. This one is by Robert Sternberg. According to the theory, a person’s experience of love consists of three components of love, which are intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Intimacy refers to a feeling of closeness, connectedness, and attachment that exists in a relationship. Passion is described as a feeling and desire that leads to physical attraction, romance, and related to sexual issues. As for commitment, it is the kind of feeling that directs a person to stay together and move towards a common goal in a relationship.
| The Name of Love | Intimacy | Passion | Commitment |
| Liking | ✓ | ||
| Infatuated Love | ✓ | ||
| Empty Love | ✓ | ||
| Romantic Love | ✓ | ✓ | |
| Companionate Love | ✓ | ✓ | |
| Fatuous Love | ✓ | ✓ | |
| Consummate Love | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
Through these components, Sternberg identified seven forms of love based on the existence of each component of love that he formulated. Some of them are as follows:
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- Liking
According to Sternberg, liking is a love that only consists of intimacy and it has no passion or commitment. This one can occur in friendly relationships that are mutually bound and have emotional ties to each other. However, there is no passion or desire to spend life together. It means the relationship only gives rise to liking.
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- Infatuated Love
Infatuate love refers to the kind of love that only has a passion without any commitment and intimacy in the relationship. It usually occurs when someone experiences attraction, especially related to physical attraction, which is also known as infatuation. There are several physical signs that indicate infatuation, including palpitations, increased hormone secretion, and erection of the genital organs.
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- Empty Love
Empty love consists of only commitment without any passion or intimacy. This usually occurs in relationships that have lasted for a long time, such as elderly couples. In these kinds of relationships, they have lost their emotional involvement and there is no longer any physical attraction that sparks passion because they have been together for a long time. The only thing that they have is commitment, the one that makes them maintain their relationship.
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- Romantic Love
Romantic love is the name of love in which there is a strong intimacy and passion but there is no commitment. The relationship that occurs in this kind of love is not only related to the existence of passion, but also to the emotional attachment between these two.
For those who are wondering why romantic love has no commitment, the reason is because it is something that is not easy to talk about. This kind of love usually occurs in an early relationship, like dating.
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- Companionate Love
Companionate love is described as a relationship that has only intimacy and commitment. It usually occurs in a relationship or friendship that has lasted for a long time. Those with this kind of love are generally committed and have an emotional connection to each other. However, there is no longer a sense of passion in the relationship.
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- Fatuous Love
Fatuous love has only passion and commitment and has no intimacy. Those who are in this kind of love are committed to each other on a basis of passion. However, they have no connection with the intimacy that is present. Usually, this kind of relationship will not last long.
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- Consummate Love
Consummate love is the kind of love that consists of all elements of love as mentioned by Sternberg, including intimacy, passion, and commitment. This one is such an ideal form because all of them are in balanced proportions and complement each other.
Bottom Line
Both love and affection are considered as positive emotions. All of them can be felt by people. The way to show them may vary, depending on the individual.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
